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Thread: Don't Go Near The Park

  1. #1
    RockNRoll Sleaze Machine Ehren H.'s Avatar
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    Don't Go Near The Park

    This could either go in Horror, but it's definitely a cheesy drive in classic in my eyes...

    This is fun but all I can say is "what the hell is going on?!" Talk about a weird little flick. It might just be my dvd player, but some scenes appear to be dubbed, wasnt this an American movie? If it IS dubbed, why was it?

    Dark Sky's release looks gorgeous, and it's definitely a fun little flick so far. But wow, its out there.

  2. #2
    Yeah, what of it? Greg_Goodsell's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Hopefully, I will be introducing DGNP in LA with director Lawrence D. Foldes present. Here is the text of my speech:

    My experience with DON’T GO NEAR THE PARK is probably like most people. I rented it under the title of NIGHTSTALKER on the old Thriller Video label back in the 1980s. My curiosity was piqued when I saw that Elvira, Mistress of the Dark had passed on doing her hostess duties on the feature -- the only previous time she had done so was for the infamous Italian cannibal film MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY.

    Popping the film into my VCR, I was dumbstruck. Here was a gory little horror movie that tried to do too much, with too little, with little or no regard for technical competency. This being before the age of widespread Internet access, the film had escaped my purview when it played theaters. I had to learn more.

    Scream queen Linnea Quigley, who goes from a young frightened lass to a resentful wife and mother in the course of the film shared with me at a 1988 Fangoria Convention that the film saw play dates under the title of DON’T GO NEAR THE PARK. She also shared her personal name for the film, which was … DON’T GO NEAR THE MOVIE! In spite of all the warm memories she shares on the commentary track of the Dark Sky DVD, she confided in me that PARK was one of the first films she had worked on, and she wondered at the time if all productions were like this.

    I would go on to tout the film in various cult movie fanzines. I would give PARK its own special section in my chapter on bad horror flicks in THE DEEP RED HORROR HANDBOOK in 1989. More recently, I shared PARK with my underground film society, and it was quite a sight to see a crowd of fifty people crying for mercy at the 20-minute mark!

    I later discovered that director Lawrence D. Foldes had directed a score of other films such as YOUNG WARRIORS and THE GREAT SKYCOPTER RESCUE. I began an initial interview with Foldes way back in 1996, but a formal sit-down discussion was not to be. Larry and his wife Victoria were in the process of moving, and we lost touch. Larry is a great believer in synchronicity and coincidence, and when PARK was to debut on DVD, we linked up again and began a series of long, in-depth conversations this year which will result in an extensive article for issue #13 of SCREEM magazine. Plug, plug, plug.

    Larry has expressed embarrassment over PARK. He says the film is not indicative of where his head is at these days, and that the film is nothing more than a low-budget shocker intended for drive-ins. I certainly can’t agree, along with the scores of other people who have analyzed the film for its critique of dysfunctional families and modern day malaise. Horror film audiences are especially forgiving of movies that express ambition, and PARK is certainly unlike any other. The film weaves mundane reality into a harebrained story about cannibalistic cavemen, and does so earnestly -- if ineptly.

    For its makers, DON"T GO NEAR THE PARK is somewhat akin to a silly trick one did as a child, called upon to perform again and again at family reunions. As for myself, I think it’s significant that I can name off the film’s myriad alternate titles such as ANCIENT CURSE OF THE DAMNED, CURSE OF THE LIVING DEAD and SANCTUARY FOR EVIL, and can’t recall last year’s winner for Best Picture. As this writer -- and the people assembled here tonight will attest to -- we hold DON’T GO NEAR THE PARK very close to our hearts -- for our very own reasons. Enjoy!
    Last edited by Greg_Goodsell; 04-24-2006 at 08:24 AM.

  3. #3
    Phantom Of The Paradise Don Guarisco's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    My review of this DVD was posted today on the main page. I've been a fan of this oddity for many years, thanks to Greg's article in the DEEP RED HORROR HANDBOOK. Your speech sounds like a good one, Greg - please let us know how the event goes over.

    BTW, if you can ever score an old copy of the DEEP RED HORROR HANDBOOK, do so - it's been an important part of my reference library for a decade and a half.

  4. #4
    Enema Bandit Ian Jane's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    This movie features the best exploding van ever.

  5. #5
    Good, Bad, & The Groucho J Dewey Wallis's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Jane
    This movie features the best exploding van ever.

    Too bad its too late to put that blurb on the DVD cover.

  6. #6
    Kaiju Fan Extraordinaire Matthew B.'s Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    I saw this film in it's initial theatrical run on a double bill with Evilspeak. I was only 14 at the time so plot didn't mean squat to me. I remember thinking it quite gory, and a neck snapping scene was particularily memorable because the sound was extremely exxagerated, like someone snapping twigs right next to the boom mike.

    I'll be picking this up for nostalgia sake.

  7. #7
    Yeah, what of it? Greg_Goodsell's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    By the way – I had a blast at the DON’T GO NEAR THE PARK screening at the New Beverly Cinema in Hollywood Tuesday night. I finally got to meet director Lawrence D. Foldes and his lovely wife Victoria Paige-Meyerink in person. Foldes gifted me with two very rare 1-sheets for PARK. Also on hand was actress Tamara Taylor, who played “Bondi” in that film. Now the proud mother of teenage children, she looks great! There must be something to scarfing down hot intestines pulled from screaming victims to retain eternal youthfulness after all! The place was packed with trash film deviants who laughed at all the right places. And you couldn’t ask for a better theater to see grindhouse fare than the New Beverly Cinema – with its tiny snack bar and a filthy acoustical ceiling that hasn’t been painted since the Carter Administration. It was truly a night to remember!

    Also spotted in the crowd: Hollywood Book & Poster’s Eric Caidin; Brian Quinn; long missing-in-action Mike Copner, publisher of Cult Movies magazine! Were any of you maniacs there that night?
    Last edited by Greg_Goodsell; 04-27-2006 at 09:11 AM. Reason: Change in status --

  8. #8

    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg_Goodsell
    Also spotted in the crowd: Hollywood Book & Poster’s Eric Caidin; Brian Quinn; long missing-in-action Mike Copner, publisher of Cult Movies magazine! Were any of you maniacs there that night?

    I was there in the front row. I won a shirt hehe. I was also miss giddy through most of House on the Edge of the Park

    David Hess *sighs*

  9. #9
    Yeah, what of it? Greg_Goodsell's Avatar
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    Oops!
    Last edited by Greg_Goodsell; 05-06-2006 at 04:18 AM. Reason: No upload!

  10. #10
    VHS will never die! Lorne Marshall's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    I finished watching the DVD, and I can't recommend this schlock classic enough. Here are just a couple more moments I don't think have been mentioned elsewhere that will make you laugh silly:

    When little Bondi is at the zoo with her dad and she puts her fingers out for the wolf to lick, not only is it not a child's hand being offered to the animal, it is clearly a man's hand!

    And when the teenage Bondi receives a necklace as a present from her father, she utters, "It looks good enough to eat!" (Huh?)

    For low-budget entertainment, you just can't do any better than that.

    What's most amazing to me about this package is it really tests the common wisdom of calling movies uncut. Here's why. The movie got released on tape I believe by Platinum under the title CURSE OF THE LIVING DEAD (I'm not sure of the company because I don't own the pre-record). It was also put out by Direct Video under its original title. You can tell right away from the opening murder that both are cut. They're probably identical prints, clocking in at just over 76 minutes.

    The version that came out on Thriller Video (sans Elvira) as NIGHTSTALKER has a lot more carnage, and for all intents and purposes, at just under 80 minutes seemed uncut. Then along came the DVD, whose print clocks in at 1:23:23.

    Ah, so that is the full version, right? Wrong again. In the special features section, you learn that the gruesome deaths are even more gruesome than you thought. And there is significantly more naked flesh on display. This additional stuff is not in the full feature on the disc because it comes from an inferior source.

    By the way, I suggest anyone interested in this and other similar "bad" movies should try to obtain a copy of THE DEEP RED HORROR HANDBOOK from 1989, which contains Greg Goodsell's article "The Unwatchables." (In addition to DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK, Greg's article made me seek out such insanity as THE HEREAFTER, RUNAWAY NIGHTMARE, NIGHT OF HORROR and INVITATION TO HELL.)

    And of course, I am posting below some pics of the two VHS releases I have. I also had to include the cover for Home Cinema Corporation's video box of THE DEVIL KISS, which contains the same illustration - albeit transposed - as the one for NIGHTSTALKER.

    To reiterate my opinion of Dark Sky's DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK: DO buy this DVD!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by Lorne Marshall; 09-20-2008 at 02:11 AM.

  11. #11
    All Shook Up Ian Miller's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    It's cool to see that Direct box somewhere else besides on my shelf! I had somehow managed to not know of this film until Mike Weldon reviewed it in an issue of PTV, and I was quite interested. I then came accross a copy of the tape at a video liquidation spot (man, was that guy a shyster. A friend bought a Paragon VIOLENT PROTECTION, only to find it had no audio. He returned it and got a refund, but the next time I was there, it had been re-wrapped and put back out!), boy was I excited. Got it home, watched it and was totally blown away! FFWD, I now have the disc and I took a quick look at it. WOW! Not only is the image very nice (considering), but the extras! Yep, it's releases like this that make me a DVD maniac.

  12. #12
    VHS will never die! Lorne Marshall's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Testify, brother. Testify.

  13. #13
    All Shook Up Ian Miller's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    After watching the disc, I am now reminded of two things:

    1.) The last shot is a gasser! I was glad I forgot about it, what a crack up.

    2.) The music was recorded at Mystic Sound Studios in Hollywood. Sound familiar? It should. Led Zeppelin recorded WHOLE LOTTA LOVE there, and the studio launched a label, foisting The Mentors on an unsuspecting world!

    What the hell,

    3.) When the hag sister with the eyepatch has her youth briefly restored, she looks like Frigga/Madeline from THRILLER!

  14. #14
    Registered User Matt A's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Quote Originally Posted by J Dewey Wallis
    Too bad its too late to put that blurb on the DVD cover.
    Shit! That just made me laugh as hard as "Big Olive Pizza"!

    "This movie features the best exploding van ever"
    - Ian Jane, DVDManiacs.net

  15. #15
    Enema Bandit Ian Jane's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Go Near The Park

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Miller
    3.) When the hag sister with the eyepatch has her youth briefly restored, she looks like Frigga/Madeline from THRILLER!
    We've had this talk, and it's a fleeting moment, but I agree with you to an extent. The resemblence is there, but part of this could be our mutual tendency to fetishize all things Lindberg, possibly in hopes of one day finding some sort of physical manifestation of said cutie.

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