View Full Version : VERY... very interesting.

Edward McDougal
11-05-2010, 02:30 AM
Well, it starts with “Joe,” a regular guy who starts a band that is not only musical inept, but cheesy. The band plays the same song over and over because they can perfect it and it only is composed of a few chords. They play a show and then break up.

Joe then tells us about his love for “Mary” the catholic schoolgirl. Well Mary doesn’t feel the same and she turns into a “crew slut”… crew member for a band and wins a wet t-shirt contest to get money to go back home. This upsets Joe and he has sex with “Lucille” a girl that works at the Jack in the Box. Lucille gives Joe an “unpronounceable disease” yet he claims he got it from the “toilet seat.” Joe is now very depressed. And as The Central Scrutinizer states, “was it the girl or was it the music? As you can see, girls, music, disease, heartbreak, they all go together, Joe found out the hard way.”

Joe now seeks refuge with a radical minister “L. Ron Hoover” at the First Church of Appliantology and his radical church/followers. Hoover labels Joe a “latent appliance fetishist.” The minister tells him that, no, do not “come out of the closest” but instead “go in” for Joe is attracted, sexually, to machines… robots. Joe learns “German” given this is how one attracts a robot. He goes “in the closest” and meets “Sy Borg.” Joe and Sy go back to Sy’s place to engage in a “groovy orgy.” Sy lives with a “modified gay Bob doll” in which Joe “plooks” (fucks) first. After plooking the Gay Bob Doll, Joe plooks Sy. Joe is so happy that he doesn’t realize he is plooking to hard, though Sy is telling him. Between the plooking and “golden shower” Joe shorts out Sy’s mainframe and since he gave all his money to Hoover, he cannot pay for the damage.

Poor Joe is sent to a special prison that is filled with people that were in the music business. He is gang “plooked” by former musicians and executives, when they are not snorting lines of detergent. This prison gang is lead by a well-endowed leader known as “Bald-Headed John: King of the Plookers.”

Well, finally Joe is released from prison; however, music is illegal!!! He begins to go a little nutty remembering all the notes he cannot play on his guitar. He eventually comes to terms with the fact that music has become illegal and gets a job at the “Utility Muffin Research Kitchen” where he spends his days frosting muffins.

Marshall Crist
11-05-2010, 03:02 AM
Next you should listen to THING-FISH.

Edward McDougal
11-05-2010, 03:25 AM
^^ Ahh, my favorite, how come all the fagnits be croakin at the same time?

This is probably the greatest zappa rant.

1:17-3:52mins is awesome. 2:45mins > is especially hilariously