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View Full Version : Who Jerks Off At Work?



Aaron C
01-28-2007, 11:46 AM
'Fess up, kids! Who here works with that pretty little straight blonde that they just can't wait to get home and parade her image between their ears?

Do you ever find the need do it on the clock before the boner gets the kind of attention it doesn't deserve? Express your concerns and distaste here.

William R.
01-28-2007, 11:49 AM
I've been jerked off at work.

Does that count?

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 11:50 AM
I've been jerked off at work.

Does that count?

No, I'm talking about handing yourself the reciept for the return.

Andrew S
01-28-2007, 11:50 AM
Well, I've never done it, but I have a friend who worked as a film projector who claims he would “jerk-off” when he was bored at work. He also says he would mentally award “Knockers of the Night” to the woman with the night’s best boobs.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 11:52 AM
Vote, fuckers! Vote!

Scott Ruhl
01-28-2007, 11:56 AM
I do but I'm not in denial. These days tho' I try and tone it down, I always feel empty on the trip back to my desk with my face flush.

Jesper Maintz
01-28-2007, 11:56 AM
I never jerk off at work - but as soon as I get home, I beat the shit out of that fucking monkey! As a matter of fact, sometimes I dont even get my winter jacket off before going at it. :D

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 11:58 AM
I do but I'm not in denial. These days tho' I try and tone it down, I always feel empty on the trip back to my desk with my face flush.

Aw, that's so touching, Scott. Is there a little missus there at work you think about, or just random events of the day, etc.?

John G.
01-28-2007, 11:59 AM
Yes, I post at the forum all the time when I'm at the office.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:00 PM
I never jerk off at work - but as soon as I get home, I beat the shit out of that fucking monkey! As a matter of fact, sometimes I dont even get my winter jacket off before going at it. :D

What's the preferred manner? Completely nude, or with all the clothes off?

Just for the record, I could not have this conversation with you people in reality, face to face. Only over the internet could this discussion be had.

Proceed.

Scott Ruhl
01-28-2007, 12:04 PM
Aw, that's so touching, Scott. Is there a little missus there at work you think about, or just random events of the day, etc.?

I look inward.

mark t
01-28-2007, 12:04 PM
I've been jerked off at work.

Does that count?


I'd say hell yes, only because the same has happened to me, and it was good times. :)

William R.
01-28-2007, 12:06 PM
I'd say hell yes, only because the same has happened to me, and it was good times. :)

Knowing where you work, I bet it fuckin' was. :D

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:07 PM
I look inward.

I have to find it deep within my heart sometimes, too.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:16 PM
Also, if I worked with Alyss, I wouldn't need to.

Alyss N.
01-28-2007, 12:18 PM
I don't in general let alone do I feel the need to do it somewhere as inappropriate as work. It would be even more terrible for me as I work with kids. :eek:

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:20 PM
I don't in general let alone do I feel the need to do it somewhere as inappropriate as work. It would be even more terrible for me as I work with kids. :eek:

There you are. Come work with me and you wouldn't feel the need to, then, either. ;)

Sorry, guys. 'K, back on topic!

Patrick B.
01-28-2007, 12:22 PM
I have done it a couple of times. When you drive a truck all day long you get horny.

Alyss N.
01-28-2007, 12:23 PM
I had sex in a bathroom at school once. I guess that doesn't count though.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:27 PM
I had sex in a bathroom at school once. I guess that doesn't count though.

One of these days, I'm gonna fuck me a girl on the 50 yard line of a football field, just for fuckall's sake.

mark t
01-28-2007, 12:31 PM
Knowing where you work, I bet it fuckin' was. :D


Haha...that never even occurred to me. Co-worker.

CO-WORKER!!!!

Don Guarisco
01-28-2007, 12:35 PM
Haha...that never even occurred to me. Co-worker.

CO-WORKER!!!!

"Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me..."

Adam A
01-28-2007, 12:46 PM
When I worked at Savers we would get boxes of porn that people would donate by mistake. [We'd get to take them home] Anyway, my boss was a ''jerk off in life'' So, yeah I'd go into the bathroom, and beat off to be passive. lol ''and to feel what it's like to get paid to wank'' I was with this girl for 4 years. When we broke up I was dating this 22 year old, and she was stalking me. She went out of town, and did a porn shoot for ''Swank'' She brought the magazine into my work ''Hollywood Video'' concealed in a Cubism art book , and gave it to my boss to give to me. So I come in, got this package, and was sitting in back eating my chicken nuggets. I started thumbing through the mag, and next thing you know..... ''Well, I didn't want to be there for 8 hours with a loaded gun!'' lol So that's two jobs now...............want to hear what I did at Target? lol
I really don't give a fuck about being appropriate in the workplace. I'll cum on corporate nonsense. [period] If you don't have relations with real women though, I don't advice getting into the habbit of pulling your pud everywhere & anywhere. Also, im my defense ''I've fucked a few times in public too'' One time on the ground behind one of those Halloween ''haunt houses'' My girlfriend was sitting on the ground afterward, getting herself composed, and I told her ''watch out for that big ass cockroach right there!'

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 12:48 PM
Who wants to shake hands?

Christoffer S
01-28-2007, 01:09 PM
Nope, never done it. I only wank at home where I can wank comfortably.

Adam A
01-28-2007, 01:10 PM
You know when you fill out an app, and it has that 50 question personality test that asks ''My stuff is always messy'' , and you have to pick ''agree'', ''strongly agree'', ect.? Maybe it should ask ''My stuff is often coated in cum.''

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 01:12 PM
You know when you fill out an app, and it has that 50 question personality test that asks ''My stuff is always messy'' , and you have to pick ''agree'', ''strongly agree'', ect.? Maybe it should ask ''My stuff is often coated in cum.''

I'm cleaner than that.

Earl Roesel
01-28-2007, 04:10 PM
I work outside, in 25 degree weather right now. Not exactly the most loinally stirring circumstance.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 04:24 PM
I work outside, in 25 degree weather right now. Not exactly the most loinally stirring circumstance.

I can't masturabte with cold hands either. It pulls the balls up and sucks everything in, and tugging on the guy makes him snuggle up even smaller.

Jon Rollins
01-28-2007, 04:41 PM
I don't jerk off at work. My coworkers would be flabbergasted.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 04:46 PM
I don't jerk off at work. My coworkers would be flabbergasted.

But see, that's the thing. They shouldn't know. It's between you and Petey.

Jonny Redman
01-28-2007, 05:09 PM
I never jerk off, I'm scared of going blind.

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 05:11 PM
I never jerk off, I'm scared of going blind.

Or growing hair on your palms? Bollocks, I say. ;) Never hurt to squeeze one off. Just as well go blind during sex.

Jonny Redman
01-28-2007, 05:17 PM
Or growing hair on your palms? Bollocks, I say. ;) Never hurt to squeeze one off. Just as well go blind during sex.

For your information Aaron I'm using a braille keyboard. I lied about being scared about going blind.

Aleck Bennett
01-28-2007, 06:30 PM
I work at home.




So I go to office buildings to jerk off.

Earl Roesel
01-28-2007, 08:06 PM
Or growing hair on your palms? Bollocks, I say. ;) Never hurt to squeeze one off. Just as well go blind during sex.

When I was in junior high we had a special seminar about sex education. These were outside people, not school faculty, teaching the course. Amongst other things, we were told with a straight face that masturbation led to blindness as it "affects the central nervous system". Further, gay/anal sex was more apt to bring about AIDS because "that part of the body just wasn't made for sex".

The whole business was all very peculiar really; it had all the earmarks of some religious crusade but this is a public school we're talking about. I guess that's Kentucky for you...

Aaron C
01-28-2007, 08:08 PM
That's a fantastic fuckin' story, there, Earl. Some people believe there's no stink to their shit, but there is.

Lee O
01-30-2007, 10:10 PM
Never jerked off at work, but I have gone into the bathroom to take a picture of my cock with the camera phone and send it to a co-worker, who kept texting me, asking where I was.

Kieran M
01-31-2007, 12:19 PM
I have indeed.
Not so-much that the underside of my desk looks like an Elmers-Glue-factory-explosion, but... it has happened.