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Matt A
01-22-2007, 05:55 PM
...well, not so much a comic strip but more of a series of illustrations with captions underneath.

I'm going to draw a variety of metal show audience members and I need some suggestions. Here's what I have so far:

"The Neck Pincher" - Air guitar is his way of expressing himself but it's clear that he's never held a real axe in his life, nor has he paid much attention to how they're actually played. Rather than moving his fingers in a way that resembles actual fret work he just makes a pinching motion with his left hand, as though he's wearing mittens.

"I'M WITH THE BAND!" - this is the dude that turns around and faces the people behind him rather than the stage. He lip syncs and points to the crowd as if he is the front man and we paid to watch him.

"The Tipsy Traveller" - the guy who drank half a bottle of Jack and a six-pack of Bud before the show and is now lost in the crowd but neither realizes it nor cares. Will often stand next to you for a few minutes and talk to you thinking you're someone he came with. Before you know it though he's off and can sometimes be seen being escorted out by security before the headliner has even hit the stage.

"The LSD Girl" - Looks like a Woodstock refugee and will do that twirling hippy dance regardless of the genre of music being played. Disappears without a trace.

"The Straight-up Dick Hole" - Former jock turned stoner who goes to every show and bad-mouths the band, yells "FREEBIRD!!!" or "SLAYER!!!", gets in the pit and starts wailing on smaller dudes. Usually ends up shirtless and standing in front of me.

"The Polio Dude" - Super skinny, leg braces and on crutches but he won't let that stop him from rockin'.


Who else is there? I'll give you a "thank you" if I use your idea (but no money. What do you think, I'm R. Crumb here?)

Christoffer S
01-22-2007, 05:59 PM
Press dude - stands at the back sipping on a beer of soft drink and pretends he is only there because of his work but really just wants to rip off his shirt and start partying.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:02 PM
Good one. He sometimes has some little chippy that he met at a record store whom he talked into going with him.

Scott Ruhl
01-22-2007, 06:03 PM
Howabout:

"Old Kid with Mom" - Never been to a show before so he brings his mom along who tries to act like she isn't there.

"The Leech" - Cheapass who isn't a friend but tries to sneak into the weed circle to catch a toke. Also asks strangers for beer money.

Scott Ruhl
01-22-2007, 06:04 PM
"Suspect" - Dude who never leaves the restroom.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:04 PM
Perfect.

Or the "Tit Grabber" - the dude who always cops a feel off of chicks crowd-surfing.

Mike Brown
01-22-2007, 06:11 PM
Man, it's been ages since I've been to a concert, but this is bringing it all back. Especially "I'M WITH THE BAND!" guy.

Of course you've got to have "I'VE GOTTA SHOW 'EM MY TITS" girl along with "Poor Schmoe who brought 'GOTTA SHOW 'EM MY TITS' girl and had to keep her on his shoulders for the whole damn show".

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:25 PM
Man, it's been ages since I've been to a concert, but this is bringing it all back. Especially "I'M WITH THE BAND!" guy.

Of course you've got to have "I'VE GOTTA SHOW 'EM MY TITS" girl along with "Poor Schmoe who brought 'GOTTA SHOW 'EM MY TITS' girl and had to keep her on his shoulders for the whole damn show".

I work with a woman who flashed her newly enhanced hooters at a Motley Crue show last summer. They went on the Jumbotron.

Mike Brown
01-22-2007, 06:26 PM
I work with a woman who flashed her newly enhanced hooters at a Motley Crue show last summer. They went on the Jumbotron.

Did she give you a flash?

I'm not big on the 'enhanced' part myself though.

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:36 PM
The Aging Rocker (a.k.a. The Midlife Crisis Guy) - a good 15-20 years older than the rest of the crowd, tries to hit on young girls but only succeeds in creeping them out. Wears the t-shirt her bought as soon as he got in the door to make it look like he's hipper than he really is.

The Free Tickets/Guest Lists People - a lot of times they have no idea who they are there to see because they got on the guest list through a friend of won tickets on a radio call in show. These people don't have to pay to get in so they have more money to spend on booze. Sometimes a radio station sponsor will introduce them on stage or have them in introduce the band but it's rare that anyone cares.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:37 PM
Did she give you a flash?

I'm not big on the 'enhanced' part myself though.

I've seen her bra-less and looked down her blouse on occasion but have yet to see them in all their glory. Honestly, you'd never know they were fake. They aren't Vivid style implants.

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:40 PM
Oh and don't forget this guy.... he's the Mad Metal Moshing Machine.

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/1797/ov6so6.jpg

He lives for the pit and only shows up for thrash bands that don't get played on the radio much and who have been together for at least fifteen years. Most of these bands are from the NYC area or The Bay Area. He rules the pit and has all the best moshing moves.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:41 PM
Holy fuck - I forgot about him. Can I use that photo for reference?

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:43 PM
As long as you credit the photographer you have my complete and utter blessing. I can even send you a larger version of it if you need it.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:44 PM
As long as you credit the photographer you have my complete and utter blessing. I can even send you a larger version of it if you need it.

You got it. What's his shirt say?

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:46 PM
I'll have to get back to you on that, cause I can't tell right now (my work monitor is doing something funky and everything is very dark). But I'll figure it out once I get home or make up something.

Matt A
01-22-2007, 06:52 PM
I'll have to get back to you on that, cause I can't tell right now (my work monitor is doing something funky and everything is very dark). But I'll figure it out once I get home or make up something.

That's cool. I may just give him an Overkill shirt.

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:53 PM
That would work. It should by the We Don't Care... etc. one though.

William R.
01-23-2007, 06:09 PM
The "Don't Be That Guy" Guy. The genius who wears the shirt of the band he's going to see. Or his older brother, the guy who buys the shirt at the show and then puts it on for the remainder of the evening. They're soooo into the fucking band. For reals.

Mike Brown
01-23-2007, 06:13 PM
The "Don't Be That Guy" Guy. The genius who wears the shirt of the band he's going to see.

Back in my day, this wasn't a problem. You whippersnappers and your strange rules. :rolleyes:

William R.
01-23-2007, 06:18 PM
I should have guessed you'd be that guy, Mike. Blow me where the pampers is.

Mike Brown
01-23-2007, 06:20 PM
I should have guessed you'd be that guy, Mike. Blow me where the pampers is.

I'm not saying I ever did it. If I did, I don't remember. If I did, I was still the fucking coolist dude there, diaper boy.