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View Full Version : Online Dating...A Scam?



William R.
01-21-2007, 02:44 PM
I think it's fucking dumb, but that's just me. It's more that I just don't get the whole online dating thing at all. I never got Friendster, never got Myspace, or AOL chat rooms. I just find it a pale substitute for getting the fuck outside and meeting people on your own. I'm sure it's awesome for some. I knew one guy who was a lonely fucker, but was constantly getting hooked up on the internet. He had practically no social skills, but neither did the girls he was getting up with, so I guess it evens out.

As for Match. A friends stepfather signed up and found his match apparently. Not even three months in and they're engaged. It's kind of disturbing, but for different, more personal reasons regarding the situation. Nothing to do with the actual internet connection. In the end, to each their own and whatever works for you.

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 02:47 PM
My current boyfriend and my last boyfriend were both people I met online. Not intentionally though, we just posted at the same message boards, met at cons, liked each other, and started going out. While I know these match sites work for a lot of people, they still do seem a little odd to me. But hey, whatever floats your boat, I say, be it rape porn or be it matchmaker sites, right? :p

John P
01-21-2007, 02:56 PM
Myspace is a better place for meeting women....
plus it's free.
J

Bill Pissott
01-21-2007, 02:57 PM
Meet gals the old fashioned way Aaron. Internet floosies are a dime-a-dozen. And if they are into rape porn, kick 'em in the crotch.

William R.
01-21-2007, 03:00 PM
Myspace is the devils playground, offering coitus to people who should never be allowed to spawn.

Jesper Maintz
01-21-2007, 03:06 PM
I think its bullshit as well - I have been on a few dates with girls from the net, and they both turned out miserable and had a few surprises, that wasnt excatly pleasant. Also, the web-dating thing have become trendy, and most girls just ask you to go out because they quickly get bored chatting with you. I recently talked to some girl that asked me on a date before she even knew my age - and a bit later, when I told her I hated french movies, she logged me off.

Stick to the real thing.

Evan C. Price
01-21-2007, 03:16 PM
I was a member of one of those services -- FastCupid.com -- and it didn't do much for me. I don't know if it was the actual service, though, or just my charming personality. :p

Surprisingly fun was a speed dating event I went to in Boston. This was great entertainment: lots of beautiful, intelligent, funny women (and out of maybe 15 there wasn't a dog among them), with drinks close by to take the edge off. I even matched with some and got a few dates out of the whole shebang. :)

For me speed dating is preferable to online services because it forces me out of my apartment and into a sociable environment. Since I am somewhat shy in person and have trouble going up to a complete stranger and pulling a line, the event itself helps to break the ice.

Paul A J Lewis
01-21-2007, 03:32 PM
I think it's fucking dumb, but that's just me. It's more that I just don't get the whole online dating thing at all. I never got Friendster, never got Myspace, or AOL chat rooms. I just find it a pale substitute for getting the fuck outside and meeting people on your own. I'm sure it's awesome for some. I knew one guy who was a lonely fucker, but was constantly getting hooked up on the internet. He had practically no social skills, but neither did the girls he was getting up with, so I guess it evens out.

/\ What Will said.

My dad's best friend (my godfather, oddly enough) went through a midlife crisis a few years ago, dumped his wife and shacked up with some strange old bird; soon enough, this new woman left him, and apparently he started subscribing to online dating sites. Now, like a teenager, he's stringing two women along at once, and he's in his late 50s! He met both of them through an Internet dating agency, and my dad's told me that they're both pretty queer: they're very clingy, insecure types. (And I suppose that as he's two-timing them both, they've got a reason to be insecure :D )

Nevertheless, I've always taken women as they come and never tried any of these kinds of services myself: to be honest, I always loved being single and, when I was single, didn't find a need to use a dating service. If an interesting woman was kicking around, then that was all fine and dandy; and if she disappeared out of my life, I was quite happy spending time on my own until I stumbled across someone else.

Cheers,
Paul

Paul A J Lewis
01-21-2007, 03:33 PM
For me speed dating is preferable to online services because it forces me out of my apartment and into a sociable environment. Since I am somewhat shy in person and have trouble going up to a complete stranger and pulling a line, the event itself helps to break the ice.
/\ That's some cracking advice from Evan :)

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 03:35 PM
Nevertheless, I've always taken women as they come and never tried any of these kinds of services myself: to be honest, I always loved being single and, when I was single, didn't find a need to use a dating service. If an interesting woman was kicking around, then that was all fine and dandy; and if she disappeared out of my life, I was quite happy spending time on my own until I stumbled across someone else.

You should find a way to package and sell that mentality. The world would be a much saner place. Probably less populated too. :D

Chad Haden
01-21-2007, 03:50 PM
Myspace is the devils playground, offering coitus to people who are named Chad and just care about getting a leg over without the hassle of a relationship or running into the girl at his favorite bar.

Isn't that what you meant to say?

Troy Howarth
01-21-2007, 03:53 PM
It can work, but generally it's a very impersonal way of doing things. It's really impossible to get to know somebody properly through a monitor. While the on-line dating thing has its merits, and has been known to work, I've seen a lot of grief come about as a result of it - long distance relationships that can never possibly work out, personality clashes when the people actually meet each other, and a fair amount of lying which, granted, can also occur in the real world. I don't trust it.

William R.
01-21-2007, 03:57 PM
Isn't that what you meant to say?

Kinda. You're well aware that the world cannot handle an El Chad Poquito.

Christoffer S
01-21-2007, 03:58 PM
What ever happend to just getting drunk like normal people?

William R.
01-21-2007, 04:04 PM
What ever happend to just getting drunk like normal people?

My friends dad spotted me removing a trashcan full of liquor bottles recently from his home. He said he noticed his son has a bit of a vodka problem lately. I told him that he misunderstood. The vodka was for the women.

Damian P
01-21-2007, 04:05 PM
My friends dad spotted me removing a trashcan full of liquor bottles recently from his home. He said he noticed his son has a bit of a vodka problem lately. I told him that he misunderstood. The vodka was for the women.


Hahaha...Gold. :D

Ian Miller
01-21-2007, 05:46 PM
Hell, give it a shot, it can work sometimes, but I would warn against anything long-distance because it's just not worth the hassle most of the time, and there's always someone incredible lurking closer than you might think, thougn at times it seems unlikely.

Chad Haden
01-21-2007, 05:55 PM
Hell, give it a shot, it can work sometimes, but I would warn against anything long-distance because it's just not worth the hassle most of the time, and there's always someone incredible lurking closer than you might think, thougn at times it seems unlikely.


Listen to Miller, he's damn near always dead on the money

Ian Miller
01-21-2007, 06:33 PM
I figure it at least gets you in the mindset, and may prepare you for when you meet someone in the traditional fashion.

Eric A
01-21-2007, 09:50 PM
I thought The Ian Miller Way (http://www.dvdmaniacs.net/forums/showthread.php?t=22277) was the best way to meet chicks.

Elske McCain
01-21-2007, 10:27 PM
My exhusband met his girlfriend at myspace a year ago and they live together. I mostly date people online because the real world is a frightening, scary place.

Elske McCain
01-21-2007, 10:29 PM
I will add my current boyfriend is from myspace, and Jenna Jameson met Tito at myspace also, so it works for some I guess. It's funny cuz one of the guys I work with, a manager..he seems afraid to talk to me in person, but is extremely chatty at myspace so I guess it is less threatening or something..

Ian Miller
01-21-2007, 10:39 PM
Yeah, but is any of that helpful in real-life situations? If it is, then that's good, but none of it can really replace the beauty of getting to know somebody in the traditional manner. Of course, it also seems like it's impossible to meet people that share or can even appreciate your interests, but in this day and age there are more out there than you might think, plus very little of that actually matters as long as you see eye-to-eye on important stuff (like sex, haha).

Elske McCain
01-21-2007, 10:59 PM
Well, that sounds great but for me, I am the kind of person that would rather stay home. So who am I to encounter in real life that I would consider dating? A customer at work? Go to a bar to find someone? If I hate going to bars, why go to a bar to find a mate? I know y'all won't agree but I don't care.

Bill Piper
01-21-2007, 11:13 PM
i hate going to bars and that's about the only "social" place around where i live (rural america!). I met my current gf through the internet about 3 years ago and we're still going strong. I would have never met her otherwise. I don't see why people always bash internet dating. it sort of reminds me of old farts thinking their way is better than something new and different. ;)

Tim Mayer
01-21-2007, 11:26 PM
I'm going to start a dating service for people who like Italian cannibal movies and death metal. It might have potential if I can find some women to sign-on.

Mike T
01-22-2007, 03:07 AM
I met my current gf...I would have never met her otherwise. I don't see why people always bash internet dating. It sort of reminds me of old farts thinking their way is better than something new and different. ;)

...and I can say exactly the same of myself and my wife. We met through an internet dating/penpal site (Match.com, ironically) and three years on we are married and she's immigrating down here in a few weeks. Of course, not everyone has the financial means to go country-hopping in their pursuit of happiness, but like anything else what you get out of the "internet romance" thing is solely dependent on what you bring to the table and put into the whole experience.

Thus, @ Aaron: If you're just doing it as a lazy way to hook up and score a root, that's probably exactly what you'll get over and over again -- and that's cool because that's what you've put into the whole thing. But if you're looking for something a bit more long-lasting, once again, what you put into it and the time you take to get to know someone could end up being worth your while -- experience will cue you into the warning signs of fruitloops.

Anything and everything can potentially be a "scam", if that's the way you approach the many facets of life because it seems, more and more, contemporary human nature is to actively seek negatives in everything over looking for positives. The easy answer is: think about why you joined, assess what you want out of the whole thing, and then go with that. That way you won't get disappointed if things don't work out to a pre-envisioned ideal... :p

William R.
01-22-2007, 03:07 AM
it sort of reminds me of old farts thinking their way is better than something new and different. ;)

In my case you're probably correct. I'll be the first to admit that. I'm not old, but I find that there's more and more that I just don't understand. I've got nieces and nephews and godchildren, I'm not even that far removed from some of them in age, but I find myself running that old corker "when I was your age" through my head at times. Depresses the shit out of me. :D

I never could wra[my head around the online thing. Even in it's infancy many moons ago it just seemed so... impersonal? I think that's the word I'm looking for. I realize it works for some and that's a wonderful thing, but I just steer clear. Based on what I've seen it's good for two things usually. An easy way to get laid (otherwise known as The Chad Method) or two act as means for socially retarded outcasts to find other socially retarded outcasts to spend time with. Kind of like this forum. Then of course there's the good apples that somehow make it work in their favor. As judgmental as it sounds, I think there's a lot of mental instability to be found in it. Not like you won't come across it in real life situations, but I find that, from an outsider's perspective, the psycho hose beast/hornball guy quota is a bit higher.

Horace Cordier
01-22-2007, 03:28 AM
I tried the online dating thing at a couple of different sites (Match and Nerve) and I found it to be a total waste of time and money.

More than anything else, I just found the whole thing exhausting. Meeting someone on a site that you post on or something makes more sense to me - I just got tired of checking responses and trying to figure out who was a nutjob or not on the dating sites. Not for me.

I can't get into the myspace thing either - that place seems like a time-sucking black hole. I already have a time-sucking black hole - this joint. And thats enough for me. :)

Scott Ruhl
01-22-2007, 10:24 AM
Well, that sounds great but for me, I am the kind of person that would rather stay home. So who am I to encounter in real life that I would consider dating? A customer at work? Go to a bar to find someone? If I hate going to bars, why go to a bar to find a mate? I know y'all won't agree but I don't care.


What about when you work conventions? Aren't those like 99% male? Like any place I know most of the dudes there are socially retarded but I'm sure there's more than a few that got their act together. And you know they're interested in film!

@ Aaron and the whole e-dating thing I'd say your best bet is to get out into the world and meets some girls face to face. Why deny yourself the best part of women, and that's being in their pressence. It doesn't have to be bars or clubs but wherever you go (and this is the best advice I can give) go by yourself. Don't bring any boys with you, or any friends. Being by yourself is the best way to meet someone, you'll be very approachable and you won't be distracted or under the influence of friends.

Meeting people (wimmen, germs) can happen anywhere. Me and my fiance met at a concert. I was by myself and she was by herself. We started talking, we both knew we had a common interest in the music, and just hung out together through the rest of the show. At the end I asked her if she wanted to go on a second date since even though having just met each other it felt like we had a first date. The same experience could happen in the cereal aisle of the supermarket.

scott favareille
01-22-2007, 11:24 AM
I can see it now--Romance by the Froot Loops (Sorry silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.)

Anybody ever try phone chat lines?

Lefteris T
01-22-2007, 11:36 AM
i hate going to bars and that's about the only "social" place around where i live (rural america!). I met my current gf through the internet about 3 years ago and we're still going strong. I would have never met her otherwise. I don't see why people always bash internet dating. it sort of reminds me of old farts thinking their way is better than something new and different. ;)

I totally agree. It may work but it may not. You never know unless you actually try. Its not for everyone I guess. Met my current fiance online and I have been very happy since.

Elske McCain
01-22-2007, 12:20 PM
What about when you work conventions? Aren't those like 99% male? Like any place I know most of the dudes there are socially retarded but I'm sure there's more than a few that got their act together. And you know they're interested in film!



I actually met my boyfriend at my last convention. We had talked for a few months prior but didn't actually meet until he came down to my convention appearance to help me out. Most of the guys at conventions are fanboys who treat me like I am a celebrity or famous or something, I prefer being with someone who treats me as an equal. I can't date anymore "fans" I would rather be with someone who is either in the industry or can relate, I guess. I don't have this shit worked out to a science. Since I have been divorced I have dated only people online except I have gone out on 2 dates with people I know here in town, and both times it sucked big time and there was just no chemistry.

Xavier West
01-22-2007, 04:12 PM
Since when was going to bars to pick up so great? People keep raising this as the way its done but I've done it and it's a pretty random, stupid way to do things: You pick out someone who is vaguely attractive and then go make conversation on the one in a hundred chance that they are half way interesting. Even if they are interesting it usually turns out they are already seeing somebody. Or if they're not then your friends start wanting to move on to a different bar, or worse, hers. Besides I hate trying to make small talk over a crowded bar. "What?" "I didn't say anything." "What?"

This is how the internet works. I jump on. I find five interesting sorts. Swap no more than three e-mails and then meet them in a bar in the city. Sit around somewhere cool and drink for five hours or so. There are few better ways to spend an evening than out drinking with a hot, like minded stranger.

It took a while to understand what peoples expectations are but once I had that down I've met nothing but great people. Through this method I got to date published authors, a girl who ran a film festival, a girl who yelled: "that's my favorite movie" when she saw the Vampyros Lesbos poster on my bedroom wall, etc. And right now I'm living with a very cute little occupational therapsit who watches Argento films with me, reads good books, drinks heavily, cooks and can hold a conversation for more than five minutes. She says she did the internet thing because she's picky.

Troy Howarth
01-22-2007, 04:27 PM
I'm not an old fart - well, not yet - and I "bash" it because I have good reason to do so. As I said, though, sometimes it works - there are no definites.

Tom K
01-22-2007, 04:36 PM
I'm indifferent on internet dating...I have a profile at one place, but I really don't take it too seriously...just something to have out there I guess...

Ian Jane
01-22-2007, 06:54 PM
I might the woman who is now my wife online, but I wasn't out there looking so I don't know that I can recommend online dating per se. We met through a music discussion board and become friends first, then hung out in person and hit it off when she came to my former neck of the woods on vacation.

Been together six years and married for five and it's worked out amazingly well. But again, it didn't happen through a dating service, instead it was just completely random.

Mike T
01-23-2007, 05:33 AM
What Ian's said above, and what I said earlier (what you put into it is what you get out of it), kind of further reiterate the original comment I was making. I tried the "online dating" side of the Match.com service for a while here in Oz, with limited success (the neurotic and those simply looking for a shag outnumbered what I was actually looking for) and in time took down my profile and took a breather/money-saving sabbatical from it all. After a few months away from it all I went back in with a different mindset: I decided to make it plain and simple that I was just looking for penpals from other countries to write with. I figured I'd spent enough years harbouring a fascination for Asian cinema, and mixing amongst my own Chinese community, that the time had come to learn something of other cultures that I was also interested in on a share-share basis.

The majority of my responses came from the Asian regions (as well as were majority women), and though the language barrier was often hard to work with, I soldiered on. Then, one day, a lady from the state of Sarawak (which I had never heard of) popped up in my Inbox and, having just come out of a long-term relationship, was looking for the same thing I was...a penpal. She knew little of Australia, and I knew nothing of Sarawak, so we wrote on and off for some months and eventually the emails became more frequent. I mentioned that I had wanted to travel in Asia, and she suggested I should come and see her home country for something different. Having never travelled overseas before, I put my faith in a stranger and made my first trip abroad (which was kinda bordering on lunacy, now that I think about it -- considering I was travelling alone). She met me at the airport, and acted as my guide around her home. After a few days, we both realised that the connection and chemistry we felt in person was much stronger than anything we expected from our numerous emails...and three and a half years on we are husband and wife!

Nothing was planned and neither of us harboured any expectations of the other when we met -- it was just two international penpals meeting for the first time and, to be honest, we had both intially thought after the week we'd probably just go our separate ways and that would be maybe all our long correspondence would amount to. But sometimes life has other plans for us and you make your own realities without realising you are doing so. My story isn't quite as random as Ian's (travelling overseas to see a new place and meet a virtual friend is fairly major), but I am glad I made that first trip outside of my comfort zone in retrospect. Had I not done so I would not have met the lady that has become my life partner nor commenced my exploration of the world beyond my shores... :)

Gary Banks
01-23-2007, 09:25 AM
In my twenties just about the only way to meet women consisted of going to bars, getting drunk and making bad decisions. :eek:

Aaron G
01-24-2007, 03:43 AM
To get results do you have to pay memebership? Is Myspace the only decent free Click-An-Internet-Root joints?

AUSSIE MANAICS: What online services do you get best results. Is AdultFriendFinder good..Chicks put in the type of sex styles they like. Cool.

Adam A
01-28-2007, 12:14 PM
I've met a few women off of My Space in person lately. [Browsing women 5 miles from my zip code] Last night this woman who claimed to have an art major came over [she asked me if I liked Sergio Argento?!? lol] Regardless of her knowledge of euro cult....''it was ALL good'' :cool: I've been on there for a few months, and just started to utilize it fully. :) Better than a bar!