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View Full Version : The Bring Back Aaron C Fund...



Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 08:52 PM
Contributions, anyone?

http://xinferis.invisionzone.com/uploads/post-118-1169257871.jpg

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 08:56 PM
Where has Aaron been? He usually pops in fairly regularly.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 08:59 PM
In a reversal of roles I like to think he's been wrongly imprisoned for being a loose man and he's currently receiving daily beatings, daily come-ons from the head warden and showering regularly with lots of Euro men.

Sucks he's gone but the daydreaming's GREAT!

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 09:01 PM
Who knows... perhaps he really is imprisoned in the latest Jess Franco prison flick. :D

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:04 PM
I like to think so. And then he's going to pull an Emanuelle and come back with pics and expose them all.

Waiting for the pics.... :o

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 09:05 PM
Since Howard Vernon is gone, maybe I could audition for the role of the shifty prison doctor who knows too much? :D

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:08 PM
Since Howard Vernon is gone, maybe I could audition for the role of the shifty prison doctor who knows too much? :D


And Ian Jane has to be the warden. And Chad gets to be the freaky one everyone knows is nuts.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:11 PM
And Ian Miller has to be the undercover hitman/ninja because that's just AWESOME! :cool:

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 09:11 PM
I think we're on to something here. Surely Ian Miller would be well cast as my easily flustered sidekick.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:12 PM
Incidentally, have there ever been board cast threads? I've seen that on other boards. Always fun. You pick a movie and replace the real actors with board members. You just post it as a list. The more fitting the role the better.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:13 PM
I think we're on to something here. Surely Ian Miller would be well cast as my easily flustered sidekick.

No, no, no. Undercover hitman/ninja. He was MADE for the role.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:15 PM
And we need lots of naked extras. The main ones I need to be naked have already been cast.

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 09:17 PM
Alright, but I demand an easily flustered sidekick who wears tacky suits and sweats too much. Perhaps Swedish Joe?

Has there ever been a Maniacs movie cast before? Many times - they tend to be fun to put together. :)

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:20 PM
Alright, but I demand an easily flustered sidekick who wears tacky suits and sweats too much. Perhaps Swedish Joe?



I don't know him too well so I accept your judgement.

I think Matthew Allison should be the cast aside, used-to-be #1. Cause he just sucks and all. :p


PS... kidding on sucking, just seems like he'd play a good rival. :D

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:22 PM
And we have to have a slow motion segment.

Just because.

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 09:28 PM
Not a real slow motion segment, though - it has to be faked. I recommend a protracted scene of me running to rescue Matthew Allison from an imminent ass drilling by the other inmates... only to get distratced and leave him for dead.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:34 PM
Not a real slow motion segment, though - it has to be faked. I recommend a protracted scene of me running to rescue Matthew Allison from an imminent ass drilling by the other inmates... only to get distratced and leave him for dead.

But they wouldn't be after him. They'd be after Aaron per Matthew's instruction. Every ex-#1 has their own band of cohorts.

Ian Jane
01-19-2007, 09:47 PM
I think we're on to something here. Surely Ian Miller would be well cast as my easily flustered sidekick.

Let there be no misunderstanding. Miller is my sidekick.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:48 PM
Let there be no misunderstanding. Miller is my sidekick.

Exactly.

The undercover hitman/ninja is always on the head warden's payroll.

Chad Haden
01-19-2007, 09:57 PM
And Chad gets to be the freaky one everyone knows is nuts.


I'm not crazy! You're the one that's crazy!





All I wanted was a Pepsi :mad:

Josh S
01-19-2007, 09:58 PM
I go to Fugazi shows requesting Minor Threat songs.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 09:59 PM
I'm not crazy! You're the one that's crazy!





All I wanted was a Pepsi :mad:

This is low budget stuff... you get a COLA.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:00 PM
I go to Fugazi shows requesting Minor Threat songs.

Okay, for that you get to be a naked extra.

Ian Jane
01-19-2007, 10:01 PM
I go to Fugazi shows requesting Minor Threat songs.

That's because Minor Threat are better than Fugazi.

Josh S
01-19-2007, 10:01 PM
That's because Minor Threat are better than Fugazi.


I will take your word for that as I have never heard anything by Fugazi.

Chad Haden
01-19-2007, 10:06 PM
Don't dismiss Fugazi! They're fucking just as good as Minor Threat, only different.

Chad Haden
01-19-2007, 10:07 PM
This is low budget stuff... you get a COLA.

Well that reference was obviously lost on you, and to think you call yourself Punky :p

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:07 PM
This is shaping up nicely, I must say. There has to be a female undercover agent who, through unlikely means, passes as a man and gets admitted to the prison camp. Interested, Alyss? :D

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:09 PM
Well that reference was obviously lost on you, and to think you call yourself Punky :p


...as in Brewster.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:10 PM
This is shaping up nicely, I must say. There has to be a female undercover agent who, through unlikely means, passes as a man and gets admitted to the prison camp. Interested, Alyss? :D

MIPs rock, sure! :p

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:11 PM
But they wouldn't be after him. They'd be after Aaron per Matthew's instruction. Every ex-#1 has their own band of cohorts.

I can see this working out very well. We can let the scene get all Deodato as the inmates cannibalize him for being a snitch...

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:12 PM
MIPs rock, sure! :p

Excellent - now we can branch out to a wider audience with the promise of some male *and* female nudity. Add in some fake slow motion, some gratuitous cannibalism and a cheesy theme song, and we're good to go.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:17 PM
I want white go-go boots and blue hair.

And there has to be an out of place dance segment in a flashback scene.

Josh S
01-19-2007, 10:18 PM
Wait. Are we making a movie? I wanna fight a midget in a bear suit. And I want to lose.

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:19 PM
White go-go boots? You'll get no argument outta this guy. Blue hair? I can deal with it.

I suggest a drug induced flashback set in a strip club - lots of strobing lights, and the whole nine yards.

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:20 PM
Wait. Are we making a movie? I wanna fight a midget in a bear suit. And I want to lose.

You lost me for a moment... then you said you wanted to lose. It's in!

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:23 PM
Wait. Are we making a movie? I wanna fight a midget in a bear suit. And I want to lose.

We can have a mondo type video clip that pertains to the story that plays throughout involving a mad gapist bear. You'll work nicely.

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 10:25 PM
Opening scene: Aaron is hard at work in his lavishly appointed study, arguing the finer points of cinema on DVDManiacs. There is a knock at the door. He goes to open it - nobody is there. When he turns aroud, Ian Miller as the ninja kicks him in the forehead. He hits the ground like a sack of potatoes. Fade to black. Main titles, set to a groovy, Hammond organ-drenched main title theme.

Si? No?

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:30 PM
But they didn't have computers in the 70s. This MUST be authentic.

Josh S
01-19-2007, 10:31 PM
If we're going for believablity I think Miller should drop him with the slight raising of an eyebrow.

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 10:32 PM
If we're going for believablity I think Miller should drop him with the slight raising of an eyebrow.

Definitely!

Todd J
01-19-2007, 10:51 PM
can I be the guard who always looks at the camera for cues? And then I for no apparent reason allow the prisoners to escape near the end? and then be forced to lick the boots of the blue-haired woman?

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 11:02 PM
It's not *set* in the 70s, but it will have a definite 70s vibe. Besides, these films often have weird meldings of time frames and so forth, so it will work. But just to compromise, I will agree on the eyebrow thing - a great excuse for a fast, but wobbly, zoom into Miller's eyebrow, accompanied with an electronic whirl on the soundtrack.

I think Todd's suggestions will work - welcome aboard!

Alyss N.
01-19-2007, 11:08 PM
can I be the guard who always looks at the camera for cues? And then I for no apparent reason allow the prisoners to escape near the end? and then be forced to lick the boots of the blue-haired woman?

LICK MY BOOTS, BITCH! :mad:

:p

Horace Cordier
01-19-2007, 11:14 PM
I can see this working out very well. We can let the scene get all Deodato as the inmates cannibalize him for being a snitch...

Excellent idea! Matter of a fact, I think Deodato should be hired to direct since he could use the work. I'll personally pay the man's salary.

Maybe he'll tell us who the real cannibals are?

Fred Adelman
01-19-2007, 11:24 PM
Aaron makes me feel all tingly in the pants.

Is that wrong?

Troy Howarth
01-19-2007, 11:44 PM
Excellent idea! Matter of a fact, I think Deodato should be hired to direct since he could use the work. I'll personally pay the man's salary.

Maybe he'll tell us who the real cannibals are?

Based on Waves of Lust, he clearly knows how to stage the sleaze, as well... I think ol' Ruggero would do fine, so long as he doesn't ask me to kill any animals.

Horace Cordier
01-19-2007, 11:59 PM
Based on Waves of Lust, he clearly knows how to stage the sleaze, as well... I think ol' Ruggero would do fine, so long as he doesn't ask me to kill any animals.

I think he's been reformed, but I'll keep Robert Kerman on the set with a loaded gun just in case Ruggero tries to get dubious with any animals (of the non-human variety).

Do we have a title for this masterpiece?

THE PRISON ON THE LEFT EDGE OF THE PARK?

John G.
01-20-2007, 01:44 AM
I'm not sure what role I would play, but Swedish Joe has to play an evil CEO of some diabolical American corporation bent on world domination.

Troy Howarth
01-20-2007, 01:56 AM
No, no, NO - Swedish Joe is slated to play my sweaty, easily flustered sidekick. Perhaps Mark Tolch would be up for playing the evil CEO in his stead...

A title, eh? May I suggest: PRISON CAMP BAR-B-QUE.

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 07:50 AM
Aaron makes me feel all tingly in the pants.

Is that wrong?

Not at all. I empathize completely. :( :p

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 07:55 AM
A title, eh? May I suggest: PRISON CAMP BAR-B-QUE.

We have to have it translated into at least five other European languages too. The German title has to have "Manner" in it which means "man" since every Franco/Dietrich/the like film from back then translated into German has "Frauen" in it.

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 10:12 AM
I want a pet monkey

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 10:59 AM
I want a pet monkey


We can start a fund too for that.

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 11:04 AM
We can start a fund too for that.

Then the monkey gets taken away from me and I go bat shit crazy and start slaughtering everyone in site

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 11:07 AM
Okay but who shall we get to play the monkey? I say Tom K. Or maybe Todd J. He's around more. :D

Richard C
01-20-2007, 11:27 AM
I think these need to be in there somewhere:

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000BQ06RA.01-A1D4ZH53N1A6UK._AA280_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 11:34 AM
Okay but who shall we get to play the monkey? I say Tom K. Or maybe Todd J. He's around more. :D

No! Goddammit! I want a real monkey!

Jesper Maintz
01-20-2007, 11:57 AM
I can play a smoking monkey!

Richard C
01-20-2007, 11:59 AM
There could be a running gag about spanking the monkey

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 12:01 PM
There could be a running gag about spanking the monkey

You touch my monkey and I'll cut you up like a Christmas ham

Richard C
01-20-2007, 12:05 PM
You touch my monkey and I'll cut you up like a Christmas ham
You'd have to get past my killer Basking Shark first

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 12:13 PM
You'd have to get past my killer Basking Shark first

I'll slice it up first

Richard C
01-20-2007, 12:26 PM
I'll slice it up first
No chance - it's armour plated. It also fires laser beams from its eyes.

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 12:33 PM
There could be a running gag about spanking the monkey


That'll be where the thong comes into play.

Richard C
01-20-2007, 12:43 PM
That'll be where the thong comes into play.
Well I won't be wearing it that's for sure.... I'm built like a beanstalk...

Alyss N.
01-20-2007, 12:44 PM
Well I won't be wearing it that's for sure.... I'm built like a beanstalk...

I think Chad can pull it off.

"Pull it off." :p

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 12:54 PM
No chance - it's armour plated. It also fires laser beams from its eyes.

I have a ginzu knife, it cuts through armour

Chad Haden
01-20-2007, 12:56 PM
I think Chad can pull it off.

"Pull it off." :p


Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 04:45 PM
Where the fuck have I been?

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 04:46 PM
Where the fuck have I been?

Spanking Chad's monkey? Hopefully he didn't see you. He's very possessive when it comes to his monkey.

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 04:49 PM
In a reversal of roles I like to think he's been wrongly imprisoned for being a loose man and he's currently receiving daily beatings, daily come-ons from the head warden and showering regularly with lots of Euro men.

Sucks he's gone but the daydreaming's GREAT!

Dreams do come true, you know.


Who knows... perhaps he really is imprisoned in the latest Jess Franco prison flick.

At the time, you were probably right. I think the blame goes to me picking up all 3 seasons of Arrested Development (which I am about to finish the third here). Funniest show *ever.*

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 04:51 PM
Opening scene: Aaron is hard at work in his lavishly appointed study, arguing the finer points of cinema on DVDManiacs. There is a knock at the door. He goes to open it - nobody is there. When he turns aroud, Ian Miller as the ninja kicks him in the forehead. He hits the ground like a sack of potatoes. Fade to black. Main titles, set to a groovy, Hammond organ-drenched main title theme.

Si? No?

Wait a minute, waitaminute...this thread is sick.

Chad Haden
01-21-2007, 04:52 PM
Spanking Chad's monkey? Hopefully he didn't see you. He's very possessive when it comes to his monkey.


You touch my monkey and I'll drag you behind my truck

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 04:53 PM
This thread is a sickie.

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 05:03 PM
You touch my monkey and I'll drag you behind my truck


Is it... a pickup truck? :o

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 05:12 PM
Is it... a pickup truck? :o

I've got a loooooove mobile, Alyss.

John G.
01-21-2007, 05:13 PM
I love lamp.

Chad Haden
01-21-2007, 05:16 PM
Is it... a pickup truck? :o


Of course it is

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 05:18 PM
http://xinferis.invisionzone.com/style_emoticons/Inferis/howyoudoin.gif

John G.
01-21-2007, 05:21 PM
I love stapler.

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 05:22 PM
Who wants to fuck?

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 05:24 PM
http://xinferis.invisionzone.com/style_emoticons/Inferis/howyoudoin.gif

John G.
01-21-2007, 05:25 PM
I love pogo stick.

OK, that didn't come out right at all.

Chad Haden
01-21-2007, 05:29 PM
Who wants to fuck?

Is your name Buck?


Gargo loves lamp

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 05:29 PM
Remember pogo balls? They were neat. You couldn't beat someone with one in a fit of rage though. You could try I suppose but it wouldn't be very effective and you'd probably just end up looking silly.

John G.
01-21-2007, 05:46 PM
I loves me some lamp.

Aaron C
01-21-2007, 06:32 PM
http://xinferis.invisionzone.com/style_emoticons/Inferis/howyoudoin.gif

I coulda figured that much... ;)

John G.
01-21-2007, 07:29 PM
http://www.80stees.com/images/products/Christmas_story_leg_lamp_large.jpg

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 07:31 PM
Woot! A Christmas Story is my favorite movie EVER!

John G.
01-21-2007, 07:34 PM
Woot! A Christmas Story Lamp is my favorite lamp EVER!

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 07:50 PM
Woot is my current favorite silly word. :p

John G.
01-21-2007, 08:05 PM
Really? Mine is snuffleupagus.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ed/Snuffy.GIF

Alyss N.
01-21-2007, 08:36 PM
Awwww Snuffy. *sniffle*