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View Full Version : Steven Seagal's Energy Drink Is Gonna Kick Yo' Ass!



Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:33 PM
Coming soon to a discount market near you....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v319/heartclog/lightningbolt.jpg

http://www.lightningdrink.com/

They say each can contains real Segal sweat for improved performace and insight.

Ian Jane
01-15-2007, 05:35 PM
So now, thanks to Steve, you can drink the Asian Experience?

SWEET!

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:40 PM
I've been lacking in the "Asian Experience." I'm glad that I can go buy it in can form.

I wonder if the drinks are best served cold like Seagal's heart. Hmmmmm.

William R.
01-15-2007, 05:43 PM
I hope they stock it right next to my Formula 50 vitamin water.

Ian Jane
01-15-2007, 05:45 PM
I wonder if he uses these healthy energy drinks to wash down the copious amount of donuts and bacon he's been eating for the last five years or so?

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:46 PM
I hope they stock it right next to my Formula 50 vitamin water.

We got some expired Dale Earnhardt Jr. vitamins at the pawn shop if you want 'em.

Christoffer S
01-15-2007, 05:46 PM
I wonder if they make you as bloated as him ?

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:47 PM
I wonder if he uses these healthy energy drinks to wash down the copious amount of donuts and bacon he's been eating for the last five years or so?

I heard that just one sip will slow down your kicks by 30%.

William R.
01-15-2007, 05:48 PM
We got some expired Dale Earnhardt Jr. vitamins at the pawn shop if you want 'em.

Do they have ephedrine in them?

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:50 PM
Do they have ephedrine in them?

If not I'm sure some has grown in there by now.

William R.
01-15-2007, 05:51 PM
I heard that just one sip will slow down your kicks by 30%.

Hey, Steven Seagal can still Steven Seagal the fuck out of motherfuckers from time to time.

I hear if you drink a four pack real fast, a camera crew begins to follow you around and they only shoot you from certain angles. You get your own editor as well. Kind of like the theme music band from I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA!, but without the funk or the instruments.

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:54 PM
They should make electronic cans that play Seagal's music everytime you open one.

Matt A
01-15-2007, 05:55 PM
I prefer Cuneyt Arkin's drink...

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/matthewallison/turn-on.jpg

It makes it seem like you just took a leap off of a trampoline.

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:56 PM
I don't know who that is but that's a powerful crop of hair he has.

William R.
01-15-2007, 05:56 PM
It makes it seem like you just took a leap off of a trampoline.

With boulders attached at the ankles.

William R.
01-15-2007, 05:57 PM
I don't know who that is but that's a powerful crop of hair he has.

You know who that is. So help you God, you know who that is.

Matt A
01-15-2007, 05:59 PM
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/matthewallison/starwars.jpg

Damian P
01-15-2007, 05:59 PM
You know who that is. So help you God, you know who that is.

After looking him up I see that you are correct, I do know who he is. I feel so uncult-like now.

Damian P
01-15-2007, 06:02 PM
Can a single can harness a fraction of Seagal's ego? Seagal says "Sure, why not, right?!"

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v319/heartclog/Seagal_N.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

Kristian R
01-15-2007, 06:06 PM
Obviously stores can't keep up with demand because I have been looking for this stuff forever and everyone is alway sold out. Its almost like there is no trace it was ever on the shelves at the stores I have checked. This stuff must be like liquid gold!

Damian P
01-15-2007, 06:08 PM
Obviously stores can't keep up with demand because I have been looking for this stuff forever and everyone is alway sold out. Its almost like there is no trace it was ever on the shelves at the stores I have checked. This stuff must be like liquid gold!

Apparently you need to go to Wal-Mart if you haven't been as that is where my friend saw stacks of it.

Matt A
01-15-2007, 06:09 PM
Obviously stores can't keep up with demand because I have been looking for this stuff forever and everyone is alway sold out. Its almost like there is no trace it was ever on the shelves at the stores I have checked. This stuff must be like liquid gold!


It's almost as though they never ordered any to begin with! :D

Kristian R
01-15-2007, 06:15 PM
Apparently you need to go to Wal-Mart if you haven't been as that is where my friend saw stacks of it.

Ahhh... this drink is dead to me now. :(

Jimmy Simard
01-16-2007, 04:44 PM
Go here if you want to read a test about this "great" product

http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/article.asp?Id=0000006

Kristian R
01-16-2007, 08:02 PM
I have GOT to get that promo DVD if/when it comes out.

Damian P
01-16-2007, 08:15 PM
Go here if you want to read a test about this "great" product

http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/article.asp?Id=0000006

Egads, sounds worse that I imagined.

"It was like an evil punch made from fruits that had no business ever knowing each other."

"...this mixture of Robitussin, gasoline, and tobacco."