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Jonny Redman
01-12-2007, 07:22 PM
The Google your name thread made me think of Friends Reunited for some bizarre reason... So I looked up my profile that I submitted about 4 or 5 years ago... and it's still there. Godamn I must have been on something when I wrote it and haven't looked at it since I first did so... Made me chuckle though... Here it is...

After leaving Richmond I went on to make a living, quite substantial may I add, throwing cocktail parties for wealthy clientele in loft apartments in London and Manchester. After a set to with a rather high brow client, over a badly timed incident with a flaming sambucca, I had to leave the country for a few years.
I fled to France where I joined the Foreign Legion, adapting quickly it wasn't long before I was in the 'Special Forces' division. I had a hectic two years, constantly moving from country to country carrying out missions of espionage and high octane covertness. Soon the CIA had me in their sights and asked me to join their black ops organisation, MK Ultra. I joined them on a 'consultant only' basis and for many years advised them on the ins and outs of mind control and mass hysteria. This resulted in the Pop Idol phenomena, a brilliant idea of mine that would plant, via the use of an innocent phone polling system, subcontious 'triggers' into the minds of millions of people. (The fruits of this project won't be seen until the next general election when the entire nation will vote in Brooklyn Beckham as the Prime Minister).

In between all this I did a bit of moonlighting as a stuntman in various 'Hollywood' movies. Perhaps most memorable was my time spent working as stunt double for Michael Ironside on films such as Total Recall, Starship Troopers and Highlander 2. Unfortunately I've had to retire from stunt work after I had a nasty tumble whilst filming Sharpe (standing in this time for Sean Bean). The result of which was three weeks in traction and the permanent loss of feeling in the palms of my hands.

With the money I made from the movies, and some shrewd property investments, I bought a modest sea front affair near St Tropez. Here I now live with my girlfriend our daughter Lucy and our troupe of Marmoset monkeys, which incidentally I have trained to do housework, minor car repairs and basic cocktail making skills. My daughter, though only three, is a prodigy on the piano and has also had two poetry anthologies printed. My girlfriend, however, has no academic qualifications but can roll a fantastic reefer with one hand whilst preparing the perfect Vodka Collins with the other. She also has marvellous breasts. Life, as they say, is sweet.

Currently I am writing my life story, which has already been optioned by Dreamworks to be made into a major motion picture. Ridley Scott has shown an interest to Direct whilst Guy Pierce has signed on to play the 'young' me with Arnold Schwarzenegger to play me as I will look when I get older.

When I'm in the UK you can usually find me in Burnley where I help the local cinema out by working as a projectionist. I also help out the local pubs by testing their beer for them.

My Friends Reunited page (http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/friendsreunited.asp?wci=otherprofile&member_key=7172029)

Anyone else got a page on this stupid website?

Alex D
01-12-2007, 08:07 PM
I threw in details for my Secondary school a few years ago and promptly forgot all about it.

http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/friendsreunited.asp?wci=otherprofile&member_key=12811362


Interesting(?) fact- The Stereophonics attended my (and Richard C's) school

Jonny Redman
01-12-2007, 09:15 PM
I threw in details for my Secondary school a few years ago and promptly forgot all about it.

http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/friendsreunited.asp?wci=otherprofile&member_key=12811362


Interesting(?) fact- The Stereophonics attended my (and Richard C's) school

"Firm young melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass" Interesting choice of music there Alex!

Richard C
01-13-2007, 02:57 PM
Tinkling

Alex D
01-13-2007, 05:07 PM
"Firm young melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass" Interesting choice of music there Alex!


The cedit for that line has to go to Tim Bisley