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Fred Adelman
01-08-2007, 09:23 PM
Christ! I'm even scared about this.

Earl Roesel
01-08-2007, 09:28 PM
My appreciation for Fred Adelman is exceeded only by that for day-glo tampons.

Chad Haden
01-08-2007, 09:44 PM
Werner Herzog could wreck him

Werner Herzog chews coal for bubble gum and then he swallows it and shits diamonds.

"Werner Herzog" is German for "You are about to enjoy the most pleasurable anal sex/knife fight of your life."

If he goes outside with his shirt off for too long, the sun gets a Werner Herzogburn.

Werner Herzog rests in deep holes, which he digs in the banks of the River Tiber or the Nile. At times he lines the holes with hair collected from Johnny Depp's shower drain. No one knows why.

I heard that Werner Herzog has never lost a sock or mitten.

I heard that Werner Herzog fucked one hundred women in a single night, and got them all pregnant. But that's just what I've heard.

The Bible once had a Book of Herzog, but in 1455 Johann Gutenberg forgot to include it because, as friends would later recount, "It blew my fuckin' mind!!!".

Werner Herzog speaks and writes fluent l33t and Navajo. He learned Navajo from an ancient Indian sage, whom he hunted for weeks in the deepest wilderness. When he'd finally located the grey-haired shaman, he sat crosslegged outside his tipi for days, with no food or water, hallucinating heavily, until the great chief came out to him and beckoned him inside. Once inside, Herzong quickly hooked his index and middle fingers into the wise man's nostrils, bent his head backwards, and karate-chopped him in the sternum until he agreed to teach him the complex, unique language.

The l33t he learned on AOL.

Herzog pulled on Superman's cape and the bitch did nothing about it.

Herzog spit into the wind and the wind didn't dare throw it back, but wafted it gently across the airstreams of the earth, afraid to let it settle on the base, dirty earth. It still floats in the upper stratosphere, a globule of perfect light.

Herzog took the mask off the old Lone Ranger. He dug up Clayton Moore's grave, took the mask, and used it for a nutsling. Jay Silverheels he let rest in peace.

Herzog fucking killed Jim.

When Herzog was a trucker, he would carry the load on his back to save gasoline. If it needed refrigeration, he would tell it not to get warm.

Herzog said, 'Let there be light'.
When nothing happened, he flung his cigarette, hard, into the void. The sparks flew... the rest is history.

Werner "Hertz-so-good" Herzog once turned a transvestite into a woman using pure mind-lightning in order to have sex with 'him' on a dare from Errol Morris.

Werner Herzog is responsible for every species that has gone extinct - he hates mouth breathers.

http://www.materialenreeks.tudelft.nl/images/grito6.jpg

Alyss N.
01-08-2007, 09:45 PM
Who? Oh, the dude with the eyes, gotcha.

WOOT FRED!!!... or something.

Fred Adelman
01-08-2007, 09:49 PM
I like Werner Herzog. It's a shame that The Chad has to toss him out in such a slipshod manner.

I thought The Chad was better than that. Apparently, I was wrong. :(

Chad Haden
01-08-2007, 09:51 PM
Fred, have you ever thought of letting Herzog make a documentary of you?

Fred Adelman
01-08-2007, 09:55 PM
Fred, have you ever thought of letting Herzog make a documentary of you?

Could I attack and kill him at the end? I would gladly let my body hair grow for a role like that! :D

Chad Haden
01-08-2007, 09:58 PM
Could I attack and kill him at the end? I would gladly let my body hair grow for a role like that! :D

No, he's Herzog and if Kinski couldn't kill him then what fucking chance do you have?

Fred Adelman
01-08-2007, 10:06 PM
No, he's Herzog and if Kinski couldn't kill him then what fucking chance do you have?

But what if I channel Klaus Kinski's psychotic personality, Bruno S's brawn and Mathilda May's feminine wiles for the role.

Could I kill him then?

Josh S
01-08-2007, 10:41 PM
Werner Herzog is a ridiculous twat.

Michael Greenwood
01-09-2007, 07:34 AM
I even read threads I have no interest in if Fred is posting there. I'm a total fanboy.

Michael Greenwood
01-09-2007, 07:42 AM
I even read threads I have no interest in if Fred is posting there. I'm a total fanboy.

Christoffer S
01-09-2007, 08:02 AM
Never heard of him.

Oh, THAT Fred Adelman? I quite like him,

Bill Pissott
01-09-2007, 08:22 AM
Fred is the man!

Richard C
01-09-2007, 08:38 AM
This is just too much for my mind to compute.....

Scott Ruhl
01-09-2007, 09:07 AM
Freddy's the bomb.

Mike Brown
01-09-2007, 09:19 AM
Swedish Joe likes him.

Fred Adelman
01-09-2007, 12:49 PM
Swedish Joe likes him.

But does that increase or decrease my popularity?

The consensus is split. :p

Tom K
01-09-2007, 01:54 PM
Fred Rukes!!

Mike Brown
01-09-2007, 02:01 PM
But does that increase or decrease my popularity?

The consensus is split. :p

I meant to add... but I like you anyway. :D

Andy Copp
01-09-2007, 11:42 PM
I'm in total awe of Fred

Ian Jane
01-09-2007, 11:48 PM
Fred sent me a movie in the mail the other day, for free, just cause he's cool. That's just ONE of the reasons that I love him.

I want to give Fred hugs.

Troy Howarth
01-09-2007, 11:51 PM
Fred has yet to piss me off. But I'm sure he will. Some day.

Fred Adelman
01-10-2007, 01:00 AM
Fred has yet to piss me off. But I'm sure he will. Some day.

I would never piss off Troy. I don't need that kind of trouble (Hint: Bent-nosed Italians knocking on my door).

I have, however, pissed myself.

Aaron G
01-10-2007, 04:05 AM
Fred is good!

Alex E.
01-10-2007, 07:38 AM
All you lurkers out there - I'd sign up because of Fred.
Yep, I did.

Alyss N.
01-10-2007, 07:57 AM
It's really Fred I want to f*ck... I'm just using Aaron as a diversion. Oh Fred, oh baby, oh. :p

Richard C
01-10-2007, 08:06 AM
I would never piss off Troy
Trust me you will. Troy is like a gun-powder keg on a hot stove. I remember I upset him during one of the Xploited Santa comps - I lost a testicle and 3 fingers......

Troy Howarth
01-10-2007, 12:23 PM
I didn't think you had a testicle to lose, Richard? :D

Alex E.
01-10-2007, 12:36 PM
I've heard Troy is like 6'6. There's no way in God's green earth I'd want to fuck with him. :D

Troy Howarth
01-10-2007, 12:42 PM
Being tall ain't all it's cracked up to be. The average ceiling isn't designed with mutants like me in mind.

Fred Adelman
01-10-2007, 12:53 PM
Being tall ain't all it's cracked up to be. The average ceiling isn't designed with mutants like me in mind.

Ha! Troy is a mutant. I bet he has claws for hands and flipper arms.

And a head as big as a watermelon.

Alyss:

Stick with Aaron. I'm high-maintenance. :D

Troy Howarth
01-10-2007, 12:55 PM
Nah, I'm actually in proportion - it's a miracle of modern science!

Ian Miller
01-10-2007, 12:59 PM
Fred looks like Nicholas Worth, maybe even more than Frank Black does.

That is reason enough to fear/respect him.

And he has an ad slick for WHITE HOT.

That is just plain cool.

Fred Adelman
01-10-2007, 01:12 PM
Fred looks like Nicholas Worth, maybe even more than Frank Black does.

That is reason enough to fear/respect him.

And he has an ad slick for WHITE HOT.

That is just plain cool.

Ian:

This is for you: An even larger version of the WHITE HOT ad.

Don Guarisco
01-10-2007, 01:22 PM
In all seriousness, Fred is a credit to the board. He's got his own perspective on genre fare that always makes his posts interesting to read and he always brings knowledge to the table. Even better, his collection of vintage ads adds some nice eye-candy to the site and his ongoing video box cover history series on his Critical Condition website is a real work of scholarship.

As the folks in FREAKS said: "Geeble-gobble-gooble-gobble, one of us, one of us..."

Ian Miller
01-10-2007, 02:22 PM
Ian:

This is for you: An even larger version of the WHITE HOT ad.

makes my day, Mr. A, thank you.

I love that that tape is LBX, and the film itself more than lives up to the review Weldon gave it in PTV, making it a prized possession.

And, what Don said.

Lewis G.
01-10-2007, 06:25 PM
I took a break lately and when I dare to come back here, people are worshiping Fred Adelman? Enjoy it while it lasts old man! :D

Fred Adelman
01-10-2007, 08:27 PM
I took a break lately and when I dare to come back here, people are worshiping Fred Adelman? Enjoy it while it lasts old man! :D


I'm sitting in a beach chair under a sun lamp.

Just waiting for the photographers to arrive.

John G.
01-10-2007, 08:37 PM
I like Troy.

Oh wait, sorry, this is a thread about Fred. Got confused for a second there... :D

Fred Adelman
01-10-2007, 08:40 PM
I like Troy.

Oh wait, sorry, this is a thread about Fred. Got confused for a second there... :D

You better like me Gargo or else I'm letting the dogs loose!

And my leash hand is getting a cramp! :D

John G.
01-10-2007, 08:51 PM
Fred Adelman is awesome. He has his own appreciation thread... how fucking cool is THAT?

Horace Cordier
01-11-2007, 02:38 AM
My computer is behaving (for the moment anyway), so I will take this brief window of opportunity to say:

Fred has good taste in sleaze. Fred is generous. Fred has an amazing collection of ad mats and is a credit to this board.

Fred also has a mean temper, foul mouth and conducts himself (at times) like his soul-brother Nicolas Worth in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE: an entertaining but psychotic maniac. However, we will leave all that for a different thread.

Y. Dudelle
01-11-2007, 02:38 AM
Fred Adelman is a good guy in my book, even if he is a CIA hitman or something. ;)

Fred Adelman
01-11-2007, 02:43 AM
My computer is behaving (for the moment anyway), so I will take this brief window of opportunity to say:

Fred has good taste in sleaze. Fred is generous. Fred has an amazing collection of ad mats and is a credit to this board.

Fred also has a mean temper, foul mouth and conducts himself (at times) like his soul-brother Nicolas Worth in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE: an entertaining but psychotic maniac. However, we will leave all that for a different thread.

You're lucky I took my pill tonight.

Aaron G
01-11-2007, 02:48 AM
What pill?

Free gave me a copy of Obsession:A Taste oif Fear - a film so definite of 80s Kistsch, it needs a release by Synapse or Severin or someone.

For that he is a 'top bloke'.

Jason Allen
01-11-2007, 04:56 AM
Fred is indeed dandy.