PDA

View Full Version : I hate John Tesh



John G.
09-12-2006, 12:24 AM
Specifically his fucking radio show, which plays seemingly every fucking day on 103.9 FM, the soft-rock radio station that plays at my parent's restaurant. When I work there, I have to fight the temptation of changing the station to 104.3 FM, the classic rock station, which is forboden because War Pigs scares old customers...

...but I digress.... John Tesh and his fucking radio show. 103.9 plays a lot of shitty music but every once and a while a gem will sneak its way though (Billy Joel's "Pressure," Van Morrison's "Moondance," The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun"). But when John Tesh takes the dials, it turns to all suck... Backstreet Boys, girly pop, wimpy pop ballads, shitiness. And the request line goes dead... you call the station during John Tesh's radio show and nobody answers the phone... it just rings and rings and rings so your forced to listen to Tesh and his teribble taste in music...

...and his pointless tips on how to live life. That's right, John Tesh apparently thinks you're too stupid to make decisions about eating, taking care of your kids, driving, paying attention to people when they talk, exercising, remembering things, riding a bike, having sex, etc. Actually, I made that last one up... John Tesh couldn't talk about sex because he's a whimpy punk whose audience consists of 80 year old grandmothers who he doesn't want to offend.

And the most annoying thing about John Tesh's radio show... every two minutes, there is a chorus of ladies who yell out "YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE JOHN TESH RADIO SHOW!" and every time a song is played, every time Tesh opens his stupid mouth, he reminds everyone what an egomaniac he is and he pokes his slave-chorus with a stick and "YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE JOHN TESH RADIO SHOW!!!" "I HEARD IT ON THE JOHN TESH RADIO SHOW!" "JOHN TESH!!!" "RADIO SHOW!!!!" "JOHN TESH RADIO SHOW!!!!"

Who the fuck is John Tesh anyway? He's apparently a New Age musician, and while I've never listened to his music, I can guarentee that it's not cool New Age music like Tangerine Dream or latter-day Mike Oldfield but that boring sanitized commercialized shit that's too boring to play in elevators. John Tesh is to New Age as Kenny G is to jazz.

John Tesh apparently wrote the Monday Night Football theme song, which is his claim to fame and his lone accomplishment, but I guess that speaks more to the monkeys in a room with typewriters and Shakespeare cliche than it does to Tesh... that's right, I compared John Tesh to a monkey... that's a compliment and I should be banned from society for making a positive remark about that nutsack.

Fuck him.

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 12:30 AM
He also used to be on Entertainment Tonight and he looks like a Nordic Frankenstein

Adam C
09-12-2006, 12:34 AM
He sucks.

Some believe he is an alien being.

John G.
09-12-2006, 12:34 AM
Chad this is a "I Hate John Tesh" thread... not a lovefest where we compare the asshat to mythic figures of brawn and coolness. :mad:

Ian Miller
09-12-2006, 12:37 AM
Yeah, but he gets to get into bed with Connie Selleca every night.

http://www.kanakuk.com/images/John_Connie.jpg

Maybe that's more reason to hate him?

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 12:37 AM
Chad this is a "I Hate John Tesh" thread... not a lovefest where we compare the asshat to mythic figures of brawn and coolness. :mad:

John, did you not note the devil horns and goatee I gave his yearbook photo? :mad:

John G.
09-12-2006, 12:43 AM
What the fuck Chad, who don't you just suck him off and be done with it!?!?!! :mad:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008BXJG.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V57312653_.jpg

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 12:44 AM
What's with all the hate today? I hate John Tesh. I hate Bette Midler. I hate centipedes. I hate Bill's car. Is it something in the water or does today's anniversary have something to do with it? I've never seen so much hate in one place!

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 12:50 AM
What the fuck Chad, who don't you just suck him off and be done with it!?!?!! :mad:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008BXJG.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V57312653_.jpg


What the fuck John, why don't you just admit that you're a big fan and you only started this hate thread to see if we stood up for your new age musician hero!?!?!! :mad:

you're a Greek, shouldn't you be all about Yanni or Swedish Joe's hero Vangelis?

John G.
09-12-2006, 12:58 AM
What the fuck John, why don't you just admit that you're a big fan and you only started this hate thread to see if we stood up for your new age musician hero!?!?!! :mad:

you're a Greek, shouldn't you be all about Yanni or Swedish Joe's hero Vangelis?
Don't bring Vangelis into this discussion... He released some badass prog hardcore satanic shit that makes Slayer piss their pants in fear, unlike your hero John Tesh, who is not the devil no matter how much you want us to think he is.

http://www.engelen.demon.nl/covers/h666sl.jpg

Zane C.
09-12-2006, 12:59 AM
Like Chad said, he used to be on ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT. Growing up in the 80's it's what I remember seeing him on. I was shocked to hear he had a music career after he left the show, actually.

He seems like one of those plastic entertainment show folks, who try sooooo hard to be upbeat, bubbly, and all-around oatmeal for the viewing public (when he was on the show). Not that I can say I hate John Tesh, his music, or anything about him, really, because I don't know or particularly care about him or his career, to be quite honest. His type of music just ain't my cup of tea. I just avoid his music, mainly because I don't care for New Age. No ill will against the guy, though. Live and let live! Maybe good 'ol John is enlightened through his New Age music! :D

Horace Cordier
09-12-2006, 01:08 AM
I've never seen so much hate in one place!

You are joking, right? :D

This place is a palace of bile. People here have their own personal hate threads up the wazoo.

My God man, start paying attention.

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 01:10 AM
Don't bring Vangelis into this discussion... He released some badass prog hardcore satanic shit that makes Slayer piss their pants in fear, unlike your hero John Tesh, who is not the devil no matter how much you want us to think he is.

http://www.engelen.demon.nl/covers/h666sl.jpg


Well fiddly diddly diddly dee, he knows how to put 3 numbers on the front of an album cover. I'm sorry but the dude that composed the theme to "Chariots of Fire" is not badass

Now Morrissey, there's a badass.

William R.
09-12-2006, 01:11 AM
I remember ET. Then he wanted to be Yanni. Then... well I haven't heard a thing from him in years. Except that he's hated. :D

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 01:14 AM
You are joking, right? :D

This place is a palace of bile. People here have their own personal hate threads up the wazoo.

My God man, start paying attention.

I'm just talking about yesterday. It wasn't a time for hating. Now that it's another day, I hate you, Horace, for telling me to pay attention. Just for that, I'm sending you THE ROSE. I know you like it! :D

See, I pay attention.

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 01:18 AM
I'm just talking about yesterday. It wasn't a time for hating. Now that it's another day, I hate you, Horace, for telling me to pay attention. Just for that, I'm sending you THE ROSE. I know you like it! :D

See, I pay attention.


I hate you and this stupid post, Fred. I hope Horace shoots you in the balls :mad:

Horace Cordier
09-12-2006, 01:23 AM
I'm just talking about yesterday. It wasn't a time for hating. Now that it's another day, I hate you, Horace, for telling me to pay attention. Just for that, I'm sending you THE ROSE. I know you like it! :D

See, I pay attention.

Shit Fred, I still owe you a dvd. I'll get that list together soon I promise.

Anymore threats about THE ROSE though and all l'll be sending you is a GRIZZLY ADAMS poster. See? I pay attention too. :D

Now Tesh... I mean come on guys. Look up "harmless" and "inoffensive" on Wiki and there he is. Hating John Tesh is like hating that doofy male co-host on THAT'S INCREDIBLE!

Tesh is simply not worthy of my rage.

Horace Cordier
09-12-2006, 01:25 AM
I hate you and this stupid post, Fred. I hope Horace shoots you in the balls :mad:

Chad: stop making trouble. I prefer to do it myself.

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 01:28 AM
Shit Fred, I still owe you a dvd. I'll get that list together soon I promise.

Anymore threats about THE ROSE though and all l'll be sending you is a GRIZZLY ADAMS poster. See? I pay attention too. :D

Now Tesh... I mean come on guys. Look up "harmless" and "inoffensive" on Wiki and there he is. Hating John Tesh is like hating that doofy male co-host on THAT'S INCREDIBLE!

Tesh is simply not worthy of my rage.

Touche! You hit me where it hurts. I can't believe you remembered my hate for Haggerty!

BTW: Tesh and Mary Hart were staples on Entertainment Tonight during the 80's. Tesh always has some musical special on PBS. Live from Red Rock and a few others. New Age music never did much for me but it seems to please a lot of people as all his concerts are usually sold out. He is harmless. Yanni on the other hand is a different story. He was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend. The charges were later dropped.

Chad Haden
09-12-2006, 01:31 AM
Now Tesh... I mean come on guys. Look up "harmless" and "inoffensive" on Wiki and there he is. Hating John Tesh is like hating that doofy male co-host on THAT'S INCREDIBLE!


John Davidson

http://a.abc.com/images/indexpages/moviesandspecials/incredible_big.jpg

Horace Cordier
09-12-2006, 01:48 AM
John Davidson

http://a.abc.com/images/indexpages/moviesandspecials/incredible_big.jpg

Davidson's better looking than Tesh. He's got that cheesy 70's look down pat.

Dreamy!

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 01:51 AM
Davidson's better looking than Tesh. He's got that cheesy 70's look down pat.

Dreamy!

Didn't Davidson dress up as a woman on an old episode of KOJAK? I seem to have hazy memories of that.

Horace Cordier
09-12-2006, 01:58 AM
Didn't Davidson dress up as a woman on an old episode of KOJAK? I seem to have hazy memories of that.

I hope Telly whupped his ass. Savalas was all kinds of REAL MAN.

Ok, that sounds fucked up. Shit. I better get off the forum now.

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 02:06 AM
I hope Telly whupped his ass. Savalas was all kinds of REAL MAN.

Ok, that sounds fucked up. Shit. I better get off the forum now.

My bad. It was an episode of THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO. Karl Malden probably kicked his ass. Or Michael Douglas.

Ian Miller
09-12-2006, 02:12 AM
Or, God forbid, Richard Hatch.

Fred Adelman
09-12-2006, 02:16 AM
Or, God forbid, Richard Hatch.


Christ, I forgot Hatch was on STREETS. He took over for Douglas in the last year, didn't he?

Ian Miller
09-12-2006, 02:18 AM
Yep. Not even the same!

Aaron G
09-12-2006, 03:27 AM
Didn't ZZ Top write a song about him?